i have not been able to write as much as i’d like to here; with that, i am sending a basic message about what the teachings mean to me.

with that, am i doing what i am supposed to be doing?  it’s something i struggle with whenever i write.  i do realize the words we speak carry a lot of weight, whether or not people in general want to acknowledge this.

what does it mean to be a student of anything?  do we just follow the teachings without moving further and improving upon the teachings?  how do we move farther in a world which discourages us to do so?

knowing that the teachings move beyond ourselves, i know that what we do on this earth is part of a larger mission.  i struggle though, for my place in this world.  again- WHAT AM I HERE TO DO?  all the things i WANT to do, does it serve a positive mission?  this is just another moment where i am trying to process where i am in the world.  i do wonder, as ‘famous’ as you were, how you coped.  it’s not good to be ‘alone’ all the time.  but really, were you even alone at all?

i’d never want to live a life faced with cameras in my face all the time…  with people grabbing at me and wanting to know where i was at every moment of the day.  i would want the ability to raise my children in peace and privacy.

the trade-off though, is having the ability to make positive change in the world at your own pace, without worrying when your next meal is coming, or if you are going to be able to pay your rent or mortgage the next month.  unfortunately, not a lot of people use their fame or wealth as part of a larger mission.

again, i struggle…  where am i, and where do i want to be?  i WANT people to hear me, but not to the point where i lose my privacy.

i appreciate the work you did in terms of your mission; however i do not envy your position in any way.  perhaps i will come to an answer via some piece of literature, or an interview you gave-

or most importantly, within myself.

love,
jamilah